Are We Equal?!

Being a SAHM is tough and being a WAHM is even tougher! Why can't dads get that through their heads?! Or at least my boyfriend? I feel like I am constantly drowning in this mumble jumble of everything I have to do. From trying to balance 3 jobs (which is between 43-52 hours a week), dealing with 3 kids (one that stays home with me), dinner, laundry, housework, etc, I feel like I can't see straight! I'm not trying to say that my boyfriend does nothing, he works up to 40 hours a week. Now, this is where my equality question comes into play. He says we are "equal" because his job is more physical. 

This whole conversation comes derives from an incident over the weekend. So let me fill you in!

I worked 35 hours total on my 2 work at home jobs and then I worked 8 1/2 hours on Saturday and Sunday at my serving job. That equals 52 hours! Yeah, I was whooped even if it wasn't very physical. Now, the boyfriend works construction; yes, it's very physical, I know! BUT, he had 3 days off this week and the whole weekend. That equals 16 hours for him. 

Are we equal yet?! Didn't think so! 

So, Saturday, after busting my ass for 8 1/2 hours, I come home to a completely TRASHED house. Guess what he did all day!? Absolutely freaking nothing! He literally laid on the couch ALL damn day! Yea, it ticked me off. Wouldn't it you? Let me add, he didn't do too much on his 3 days off either! Granted his was sick 1 day but he other 2, not so much. He did clean the house while I worked and whatnot but he didn't go above and beyond.

I couldn't keep my mouth shut, at that point I had worked 43 hours and honestly felt he could have helped A LOT more! Am I in the wrong here?? Well, our conversation didn't go so well. He accused me of accusing him of doing nothing around here and that so was not my point. I just expected him to do more since I had to work more along with everything else I had to do. Yea, that didn't happen, I ended up doing the housework for that day. 

He even accused me of not doing anything during the day while he worked!! EXCUSE ME, but hello!!! I work all day too WHILE taking care of the baby AND picking up the house, doing laundry, etc!! So, yea I don't feel like I should have to do it ALL by myself and leave some for him to do. It's exhausting! 

Sunday was a better day thank goodness! I did come home to a clean house :) Again, I never said he didn't do anything! Is it wrong of me to wish he did more?

I know he helps out and cooks occasionally and stuff like that but I deal with a baby while working, do all the laundry, most of the cooking, deal with homework, most of the cleaning, making sure kids are where they need to be for sports, remember everything that needs to be done and when, pay the bills, etc. My list goes on and on while his lists consists of work, mowing/yard work, some cooking and cleaning, and helping with the baby. 

Are we equal yet?! Didn't think so!

I know we will never be completely equal and as a mom, I know I will always do more but am I in the wrong here? I mean, I am still fuming that he thinks we are equal because his job in more physical. Come on now, I work more hours and have a lot more on my plate! This physical shit can shove it! What about the mental part of it all?! My brain hurts from it all! 

If you are a /SAHMWAHM, please fill me in on how you keep it all together without losing it all because I am about to break!

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Mother's Day Woes

I just need to vent about Mother's Day. I have been fantasizing all week that Mother's Day would be some romantic ordeal or at least an extra special day all about me without having to worry about what anyone else wants or needs. I had high hopes that just maybe my boyfriend would do something nice. Flowers for once. Hell, anything. 

I was daydreaming so bad that I completely forgot about celebrating with my own mother. I hadn't made any plans aside from working 8 hours that day all because of my fantasies. This, of course, upset her so now I feel bad. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings by not making plans with her but I was really wanting the day to be about me. I do realize how selfish that may sound but I can't help it. I can't be the only one who feels this way. Can I? I love my mother to death and would be lost without her. I have every intention to see her on Sunday. 

I just wanted to keep my night open just in case my honey wanted to take me out. Which I found out later that he hadn't even given the day a thought. There goes my high hopes of a special day. :( He straight up told me that I am not his mom and he has his own mom to worry about. Yes, I know this. However, my kids are not old enough to do something extra special. I love getting their pictures or whatever else they may make but they can't do it all on their own. 

Bottom line, I am upset because I hurt my mother's feelings and sad because my hopes of an extra special day went out the window. I also feel bad because I was so selfish.

What do you guys typically do for Mother's Day? 

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Mixed Emotions

It's obvious my 9 year old son has a focus problem but I still want to be oblivious to it. No mother wants to see their child struggle when deep down they know their child has full potential. It's hard having to yell at him day after day just to get his homework done. Who takes 5 hours to do 4 pages of school work?! It saddens me as I watch him get even more upset because now he has missed out on play time because he took too long on his work. It breaks my heart to have to constantly be on him to focus but his grades are falling and I can see his confidence slipping away too.

I have decided it's time to take a different route on this issue and as much as I hate the idea of possibly having to medicate him, I am willing to try for his sake more than mine. He's such a smart and charming little man and he knows it but he's starting to think I hate him from constantly being on him. So I have got to do something. He has an appointment next week and I am quite nervous for him. Possibly more nervous for myself. This is all heartbreaking even though I know it's nothing really major. 

I give thanks to a dear friend who has given  me some advice on all this as her son is struggling too. She suggested Karate, as it's an alternative for behavior therapy, to help him focus on concentrating and Tenex, a Non-Stimulant medication if he has to have one. At this point, I am willing to try anything and everything! 

I am definitely open for advice, tips, anything! I am ready to have my confident, cheerful, happy boy back!! 

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